Rules of the Pavement

  1. People with umbrellas the size of houses (especially those that waver at eye level and might take out an eye or two), have right of way.
  2. People who stare pointedly at you and do not move to the side even within one meter of approaching you, have right of way.
  3. People in trench coats who speak to themselves and laugh at jokes no one else can hear, have right of way.
  4. Cyclists can be shoved off the pavement (unless they are children – that’s just mean). Please note, this particular rule is not endorsed by any law enforcement body and although Highway Code rule 64 states “You MUST NOT cycle on a pavement”, follow at your own risk.
  5. People with oversized bags (handbags, shopping bags, wheely suitcases), have right of way.
  6. People with prams or really excited young kids, have right of way.
  7. People with ferocious looking dogs (and sometimes even perfectly calm looking ones), have right of way.
  8. People texting or surfing the web and not bothering to look up as they walk, have right of way.
  9. If in doubt, stare pointedly at the approaching party, do not move to the side even within one meter of the person. You WILL have right of way.
  1. Simply hilarious! Lool @ umbrella the size of houses. I’ve seen some really big ones and wondered what the manufacturer was thinking.

    • Those are pretty bad but I have to admit that cyclists are my pet peeve (the way I go on about them you wouldn’t believe that 75% of my friends are daily cylists!). I got the idea for this post yesterday as I was walking to the station and had to avoid prams, bags and kids on scooters within a two meters stretch. Madness! Oh and I had one of the staring people too 🙂

  2. Lmao

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