Archive for July, 2011
She came out of the cubicle, glanced sideways at me as I tried to figure out why I had a large pimple emerging between my eyebrows, and then she walked out of the washroom without a word. My jaw dropped open. She hadn’t washed her hands! She had been in that cubicle when I came in a couple of minutes ago so I knew she definitely needed to wash those hands but somehow that hadn’t occurred to her. Or maybe it had and she didn’t care. How was I supposed to touch the door handle as I left the washroom? I wiped down the handle before I opened the door, feeling like a paranoid germophobic patient.
I thought I would forget about the incident in time but a few days later, I saw the girl as I was returning to the office building in the evening. She was leaving with another girl and I cringed as they walked past me. Worst of all, I had to touch the door handle to close the door behind me. I have never been introduced to her as I think she is a temp who works for one of the many firms in the building but there is a chance that one day I will have to speak to her and all I will be able to see is a large single-celled, prokaryote microorganism (yes, I resorted to Wikipedia). Continue reading
It might look like I stumbled onto a mass bike accident but (believe it or not) this evening as I was heading home from work, a group of at least a hundred cyclists (they seemed that many) all rode up to a junction by Euston Station, got off their bikes and lay on the ground! Why? The placards some people held said they were opposed to the rise in university fees. Quite an innovative way of protesting methinks. The police appeared pretty quickly and got rid of them but I have to say it was fun to watch, despite the fact that I couldn’t get home because of their stupidity. Only in London :-).
PS – See why it’s good to avoid the tube and get on a bus – you’d never see this type of scene trapped underground.
It’s official – every fifth woman I encounter on the street, on the bus, on the (dreaded) tube, in shops, everywhere basically, is with child. Ok maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration. Every eighth or ninth woman. And that’s not counting those who aren’t showing yet. Yes it’s an epidemic which has been blamed on the recession: no money to go out = cuddling in bed + shenanigans = baby explosion. It still makes me chuckle childishly when I think about it and I desperately want to point at people and say “I know why you’re pregnant, haha. Here’s a tenner, go to the cinema instead!”
It was all fun till I read in the papers last week that the UK has a problem with population growth (tell me something new) because last year – wait for it – immigration was responsible for half the astounding 470,000 increase in population. Gasp! Who knew? (if you didn’t figure it out already, I’m being sarcastic).
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